No, dads do not have their shit together

We are works in progress. We crash, and we keep trying. Because that's what real dads do.

No, dads do not have their shit together

No, dads do not have their shit together 1024 768 Looking out Loud

This is Daily Dadspeak—daily reflections on becoming a dad, while still growing up myself. You can find the full mini-pod audio list here.

There’s an old-school perception of the dad as a boss, a leader, a bread winner, a tough guy, a stone cold stoic, a confident know-it-all.

That view’s got a long history. And it’s still easy to find.

But there’s another dad out there.

The dad that’s lost, and uncertain, and sometimes a little afraid. The dad who’s still trying to figure out what to do with his life. Or maybe he’s just starting to ask questions.

He can be emotional. He can feel burned out and anxious. He can have a lot of self doubt. And—full disclosure—he may even cry.

He might refer to his feelings as lack of confidence, imposter syndrome, being weak, or fearing failure. Or he might not label his emotions at all. But they bubble up in one way or another.

Us dads are still learning. We’re still works in progress. We’re still trying to figure things out. We suffer, we struggle, we crash, and we get back up.

Like our kids, we’re still growing up. We’ve just been doing it a little bit longer.

No, dads do not have their shit together. But we keep trying. Because that’s what real dads do.

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