“Don’t spend too much time regretting…”

This is Daily Dadspeak—daily reflections on becoming a dad, while still growing up myself. You can find the full mini-pod audio list here.

Last night I was sitting with my wife to watch a series, something we do about once every few months.

At some point my mind wondered to one of my kids who’s been going through some changes (as kids constantly do). My head was instantly flooded with recent times that I could have done better. Times I could have given him more support, or given a hug instead of offering a reason, or just praised the effort instead of also pointing out things to improve.

My eyes teared up, and a good cry followed. (I’m a sensitive dad)

It didn’t take long to let it all out, then I took a deep breathe and came back to the room. My wife asked what was wrong, and I told her I was thinking about our kids. Thinking about times I suffer (probably unnecessarily) for them. Thinking about times I could have reacted differently.

My wife has known me for a long time, and fortunately she accepts (most) of me. And she looked at me and said:

“Don’t spend too much time regretting. That’s all past. Focus on the time you have in front of you. Do your best from here on, and try to enjoy the moments you have.”

And she was right.

(and we’ll see how quickly she invites me back to watch the next series)

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