This is Daily Dadspeak—daily reflections on becoming a dad, while still growing up myself. You can find the full mini-pod audio list here.
I just got back from a good friend’s dad’s funeral. This is a dad I’ve known since I was in the second grade.
When I was a kid, every time I saw him, his eyes would light up, and he’d get this big smile on his face, and he’d ask, “Hey Eric, how are you doing?” And then he’d actually listen to what I said with interest. It left a real impression on me that I’ll always remember.
At the funeral, his stepdaughter said,
“The only thing I wish, like with any death, is that we would have had more time to spend together.”
That’s a familiar feeling when a life comes to end. And it’s important to understand what “more time together” means here.
It’s not just about having more days, or more hours. It’s about having more moments, where you fully share experiences together. This might be time telling stories at the dinner table, or laughing together at old movies, or fishing in the neighbor’s pond.
It’s not just about sharing space. We all know what it’s like to share a dinner table angry at something that happened, or distracted by something you need to get done. Or to share a room with someone while your mind is completely hypnotized by your phone.
You never know exactly when someone will pass. But we do know that all of our days are limited.
This doesn’t mean we should spend our time preoccupied with the end of life. But we can all take better care of the moments we have together. Not just to share space, but to share stories, to laugh together, to really appreciate the people who matter in our lives. To enjoy their company, and to love them just the way they are.
Don’t waste the moments you have while you’ve got them.
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